


The Bet

by Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Drunk Sex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:26:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17352035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters/pseuds/Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters
Summary: Dan was drunk, he shouldn’t have even considered it but… “How much?”“£100.” Jack grinned, hiccuping and taking a swig of his beer. “Deal?”





	The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> Some dunk and banterous Dan and Phil who drink way too much and make silly bet with friends!
> 
> Mostly humour and smut!

Phil which shirt is better?”

Dan held up one deep red and one black button up. “Or should I wear something else?” He already has his tight ripped jeans on, the crumpled t-shirt he’d been wearing on the sofa earlier a bit too worn for a party.

Phil looked up from where he was buttoning his own baby blue shirt and fastening the cuffs around his wrists, he looked carefully at both shirts. “Go with the red, it’ll contrast the black of your jeans.” He smoothed the fabric down his stomach. “What do you think, glasses or lenses?” He asked in return, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, then taking them off.

Dan nodded his approval, discarding the black shirt, “Glasses they’re hot.” He pulled off his t-shirt and slipped the button up over his shoulders. Phil chuckled and fixed them on his face, pressing his fingers through his freshly dyed black hair in attempt to style the quiff at its front. “Think I’ll walk out with a hot date?” He joked, peering in the mirror. Dan hummed, poking his head in to share the mirror and style his curls. “Totally.”

Phil snorted, “Good job I changed my sheets then.” He watched Dan for a minute before rolling his eyes, “Move.” He swatted Dan’s hand away and began neatly picking out a few curls to frame his freckled face, before lightly tousling the rest into a styled yet messy look. “Honestly, what would you do without me?” Dan grinned, “Just remember if they give good head elope immediately.” He made a gesture with his fist at his mouth making slurping noises. Then shrugged, grinning, “Die in a ditch probably.”

Phil gave a mock salute, “Got it, passports and wedding rings at the ready in case I get my dick sucked.” He snorted and tugged off his jeans, wiggling into his black skinny jeans. “It’s cute you think you’d make it out to a ditch. I’d probably find you face first in your sofa crease.” Dan snorted, “Standards Phil, only if you get it sucked well. And I resent that but it’s probably true.”

“Of course, I’ll make sure and consult you on his official position on your dick sucking scale.” He laughed and tucked his keys and wallet into his back pocket, grabbing his phone. “Ready?” Dan grabbed his phone off the charger, “Wait, house shots first, he went into the kitchen and grabbed the vodka bottle.

Phil followed him, grabbing two shot glasses. “Should we be concerned that we always have an open vodka bottle on hand?” Dan poured two and held one up for Phil with a bright smile, “Absolutely.” Phil snorted and clinked their glasses together, “Cheers.” He downed his shot, licking his lips. The first one always burned the worst. Dan followed suit then poured another, “One more. Cheers.”

Phil lifted his then downed it, it burned less than the first. “Right let’s get going. I want a proper drink,” he grinned. Dan threw an arm over his shoulder as he exited the apartment, “You’re paying for the cab Lester.” Phil just tosses his arm around Dan’s waist, “Fine.” He laughed loudly, pretending to make them both sway drunkenly as the made their way downstairs and our front to to get the cab.

———

PJ looked skeptical, “It’s not bad but it’s unusual for someone who likes like, well…” he gestured a hand up and down Dan’s frame. “Not even a one night stand? A quick blowjob in the men’s? Nothing?” Dan rolled his eyes, “So what? Socially inept? No nothing.”

“My god you must be gagging for it. Soph only went on holiday with her friends for two weeks and I thought I was dying,” He hiccuped tipsily as she whacked his arm. Dan rolled his eyes, sniggering, “I wish I was gagging ON it.” Jack snorted, “I’m sure you can find a willing party.”

Chris nudged him, “Jack’s right, there’s gotta be someone here we can get you off with,” he grinned, taking a swig from his beer. Jack grinned, “What’s your fancy?” Dan rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his drink. “I know everyone here too well and you know it.” Jack grinned, “What about Mr Lester over there?” Chris grinned, “come one you can’t stand there and tell us in almost ten years you’ve never once…” he put the bottle between his lips and made a sucking motion.

Dan glanced over at where Phil stood chatting to Louise. “No never. Not even close. He’s hot and all but it would be like deepthroating my brother.” PJ snorted, “Absolute bullshit. You told me years ago when you first met him back in Manc, you wanted to drop to your knees right on the platform.” Dan took a large drink, “Fuck off PJ, when did I say that?”

“When you were very, very drunk at my first Halloween party. Then you threw up over my new rug,” he grinned and took a swig of his drink. “I bet you wouldn’t do that now, too prim and proper. Like a brother you said,” Jack sniggered deviously.

Dan finished his drink, “Fuck you I’m not prim, or proper.”

“You so are.” Chris agreed, catching on. "Prove it then, a bet.“ Jack grinned. Dan looked cautious, “What kind of bet?”

"Take a guy to thee bathroom and blow him.” He grinned. “But we choose who.” Dan was drunk, he shouldn’t have even considered it but… “How much?”

“£100.” Jack grinned, hiccuping and taking a swig of his beer. “Deal?”

“Deal.” Dan stick a hand out to shake, “Who? And they’ve got to be at least bi.”

Jack shook his hand, grinning. “Oh he’s very gay, don’t worry.” He smirked, “Phil.” Dan looked shocked, although he shouldn’t be. The group giggled, “Jack come on no-“

Jack smiled a deceivingly charming smile, Dan had walked (more stumbled) right into that one you. “You don’t have to do it obviously,” just as Dan looks relieved he held out his hand. “100.” Dan scowled, “But that’s like fifty shots. You’re way richer than me.”

Jack grinned, “Not by much, and a bet is a bet! I mean if you’re really that repulsed by the idea just chicken out, but we do have a chicken dance just for this occasion.” He beamed. Dan held up his hands, “You know what? Fine.”

He turned, head held high and marching over to Phil. He took his arm and dragged him across the room towards the bathroom without a word. Phil squeaked with surprise, hiccuping as he held his drink right where it sloshed around in his hand. “Dan, what the f-”

Dan took the drink from him and downed it, shoving the glass on a table before dragging him through the door. “Don’t ask.” He turned and locked the door and pushed his fingers through his hair, “Don’t ask?! Don’t ask? You just manhandled me across the room. And that was mine,” he rolled his eyes.

Dan rolled his eyes right back and pushed Phil until his back hit the door, sinking to his knees. “Oh shut up you’ll be thanking me momentarily.” Phil’s breathe hitched, eyes blowing wide. “What are you doing? Have you completely lost the plot?”

Dan’s fingers were quick, undoing Phil’s belt and yanking his trousers down to expose his boxers. “No, just shut up alright don’t you want to save those fifty shots?” His voice slurred a little. Phil’s vision hazed just a little as pressed his fingers against his eyes under his glasses, hiccuping. “Did you make another stupid bet?” The alcohol in his system warmed him as cold air hit his thighs, “I warned you about that.”

Dan scoffed, “As if you’re actually complaining about getting head.” He yanked down Phil’s boxers and wasted no time in taking his soft cock into his mouth. Phil choked quietly, drink addled brain still very away where they were. He wasn’t hard yet, because this was a bad idea. It was definitely a ba-

Dan chuckled around him, leaning back to lap at his tip. “You’re getting hard pretty quick, I mean I know I’m good but damn…”

Phil put his hand gently on back of Dan’s head, “Shut up, it’s been like 8 months, what do you expect!” He looked down to watch, “For the record- fuck- I think this is a really bad idea.” Dan had Phil down his throat but pulled up when Phil started to make him gag. “Just think of the 100 quid I’m currently saving, which we can spend on booze.” His eyes widened a little as Phil grew to full hardness. “Mate, you’re fucking hung.”

“Lots of booze.” He corrected, then flushed pink right up to the tips of his ears, like he always did when his partners commented on his size. He was pretty huge. “I mean, kinda I guess.” He shrugged.

“Guess? Fuck I don’t know if I can get that all in my mouth.” He licked his lips, “But honestly it’s a pretty great cock, so I’ll do my best.” He took him back in again, moaning loudly, thoroughly enjoying the stretch of his lips.

“Don’t-” He moaned softly, fingers gently carting through Dan’s hair, “Don’t worry if you can’t, it’s rare they can.” He smirked, watching him, “Christ you’re pretty,” he slurred. Dan felt his cheeks go a little pink at the compliment. He gagged softly in an effort to swallow Phil then came up, kissing his tip. “Pictured my lips around your cock often?” He placed his lips delicately around just the tip and suckled on him.

Phil leaned his head back softly on the door, his mind telling him to shut up, but drunken mind telling him to go on. “Couple times maybe, you look more beautiful sucking cock than anyone should,” he hiccuped. Dan moaned, sinking his mouth down on Phil’s cock in reward for the comment.

Phil moaned, fingers ever so gently knotting in Dan’s curls, “Just like that beautiful, feels so nice.” Dan hummed, taking his time to sink lower and finally managing to swallow him down his velvety throat.

“Jesus Christ.” Phil was panting softly, holding Dan’s nose for a few seconds in the course, slightly ginger curls at his groin. He was sure he’s never hear the end of it for that one, but his drunken mind couldn’t find it in himself to care. No when Dan’s throat was so wet and warm-

Dan swallowed tightly, eyes wet as they looked up at him. Oh, Phil was definitely into this. On cue, Phil moaned lowly, eyes meeting Dan’s, he looked so- "Fucking pretty baby,” his mouth finished his sentence out loud, cheek pink.

Dan felt warm in his chest. He moaned, showing his appreciation and bobbing his head with more vigor.” Phil threw his head back on he door with a thank, “Dan I’m so- oh, like that, yes.” He panted, “I’m close.”

Dan doubled his efforts, hands gripping Phil’s thighs tightly. Phil grabbed his head, moaning Dan’s name as he came hot and heavy down his tight throat. Dan swallowed every drop, only backing off once Phil was shaking from overstimulation and gripping the door handle to keep himself upright, cock softening and resting heavy and sated against thigh. “I-”

Dan wiped an arm across his mouth, interrupting him as he stood up. “Now wasn’t that one of the best blowjobs you’ve ever had?” He asked drunkenly. Phil choked softly on a laugh, nodding dumbly as he stumbled forward, and put himself away. “That was the best blowjob I’ve ever had.” He hiccuped, swaying on the spot. After a minute he replied with an equally drunken, “Why do you look so pretty sucking cock?”

Dan blinked, “You think I’m pretty?” He pressed the heel of his palm to his crotch with a wince. Fuck he was hard as a rock from doing that, he hadn’t even noticed before.

“Really pretty, s'not fair.” Phil nodded, glasses falling down his nose until he pushed them up, blinking bright blue eyes at Dan. “You’re hard!” Dan blushed, “Why’s it not fair? So I am!” He giggled, then looked mischievous, “Want to do something about it?”

“Because I have to look at you all the time! S'distracting.” He hiccuped, nodding. “Could help until you get- hic- home. But don’t tell.” He said sweetly. Dan blushed, moving into Phil’s space. “I see you looking sometimes. I like it.” He admitted, eyeing Phil’s lips.

Phil blushed bright red, “Don’t always mean to, but you look really beautiful sometimes.” He admitted, biting his bottom lip softly.

Dan surged forward and kissed him messily, almost missing his lips the first time but Phil caught his hips and met them on the second try, kissing him messily. He tasted like vodka, and gin- and even beer. He knew he likely tasted the same.

Dan didn’t care about the taste of alcohol, just happy to be kissing Phil. “Fuck me.” He said, breaking the contact of their lips and staring at him. Phil stared at him, wordless for a minute. “I- not a good idea- especially not-” He hiccuped, “In Lou’s guest bathroom!” He seemed to hold onto a shred of sanity as he remembered where they are, though his spent cock did twitch a little.

Dan pouted, then his face lit up. “No on my bed! Let’s go home then you can fuck me.” He purred (or attempted too). Phil badly concealed a groan then, but fuck that little pout was cute and he wanted to kiss it away. He tried to, but ended up just catching his chin with messy lips. “S'not a good idea for us to fuck, friends!”

Dan waved the concern away, “Friends can fuck!”

Phil giggled, stumbling back a little bit catching himself. “You really want to have sex? Sex with me? Phil!” Dan laughed, “Yes! You’re hot, I’m hot, we’re horny, why not!” He spouted his drunken logic but it seemed to worked as Phil nodded, seemingly that made perfect sense to his brain. “M'kay, we could have sex.”

Dan grinned, “Lets go!” He opened the door and stumbled out, pulling Phil out by his hand and finding Jack in the crowd. He waved, “Jack!” He held out a hand. “I sucked his cock give me 100 pounds.” He shouted loudly, eyes turning in shock.

Phil blushed bright red, stumbling after him and clenching Dan’s hand tight as they stepped up beside their friends, amidst the quiet gossips of the other partygoers. He took a drink out of Lou’s hand and downs it, “I need this.” He hiccuped when she looked between them.

Jack cheered in unison with the others, clapping him on the back. “Fine, you earned it!” He took out his wallet. Dan took the money, “Would stay but gonna go have sex now, bye!” He waved and dragged Phil towards the exit.

Phil went with him waving as they headed outside. By the time he had called a taxi and it finally pulled up at Louise’s the cold air was making him sway a little. Dan paid the cab driver as they bundled onto the back seat, stating their address before grinning lopsidedly at Phil. “We made it!”

“We did!” Phil grinned softly, poking the now protruding dimple on Dan’s cheek. “Derek!” Dan giggled then, “Do you think anyone other than Jack knows?” He asked, as if he hadn’t announced it to the whole room.

Phil snorted, “You literally shouted it across the whole room!” He gestured with his arms, “You told them you sucked my cock.”

“I did suck your cock.” Dan pointed out, seemingly pleased with himself when Phil nodded, “You sucked it really good, was the best blowjob I’ve had!” Dan grinned, “I’ve always been good at that, that’s what all the boys say anyway.”

Phil chuckled, “Well I agree with all the boys.” He stuck out his tongue. Dan giggled, “Why thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” They pulled up and Phil got out of the cab, pulling out his keys. “Hoooome.”

Dan stumbled out after him, “Good! I’m dying to feel your cock in me.” Phil groaned a little, biting his lip. “Are you always this forward?” He hiccuped, fumbling to get his keys in the lock. Dan grinned, “No but it’s you so it’s fine.”

Phil giggled, shaking his head as he opened the door. “Get inside, dork.” Dan stumbled past him, “No you get inside.”

Phil followed him in, locking the door and pulling off his shoes. “I bet you’re still hard!” Dan looked down, “I am.” Phil smiled and stepped close, “Then maybe you should kiss me.” He said carefully, but Dan just stumbled forward and kissed him clumsily.

Phil kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist and wasting no time pulling him in, and exploring his mouth. He was pleased when Dan hummed, letting him lick into his mouth and sucking on his tongue hotly.

Phil groaned, cupping the back of his head gently and devoured Dan’s mouth, kissing and sucking like his life depending on it, but with a gentle nature. Dan pushed back hotly, moaning filthily into Phil’s mouth. “Wanna go bed, want you to fuck me.”

Phil held his hips, moaning softly. “M'are you sure? We’ve been drinking-” Dan pouted, “We’re both drunk it’s fine!” He pulled Phil towards his own bedroom, turning and clumsily strip teasing him as he backed towards the bed.

Phil went with him, eyes glued on him as he pulled off his own clothes, tossing them in his bedroom floor. “M'like it when you’re like this.” Dan smirked, “What, naked?” He purred, kicking off his boxers.

Phil’s eyes raked over him, taking in the flush of his normally tanned skin, the flat planes of his skin, and the way his beautiful cock, smaller than his own, but still long and thin, curving just slightly left was leaking on his belly. “No, horny and beautiful.” He pulled off his own boxers, leaning over him. This was really happening, they were here, naked and together.

Dan sat back on the bed as Phil crashed their lips together, falling back under the force with a moan as Phil kissed him hard, grabbing at his hips and pulling them together before catching himself and gentling his movements, kissing down his neck as he rutted his thick cock down against Dan’s.

Dan moaned, throwing his head back. “Fuck, there’s lube in left beside draw, open me up please.” Phil leaned up and pulled open the drawer, grabbing the bottle, “Condom, or no?” He panted but Dan’s head shook, “No, fuck no, I’m clean.”

“So am I,” He panted and leaned back on his knees, spreading Dan’s legs gently and lying them over his own thighs. He was distracted for a minute, just watching Dan as he lay flushed and needy on his checkered sheets, “Fuck you’re so pretty, look at you.” He ran a hand down his belly, through the mess of precome and over his cock.

Dan’s dark eyes watched Phil’s motion, “Do you like looking at me naked?” He purred.

“I do, I really do. You’re so beautiful, want to touch and taste every inch of you, god you’re beautiful.” He poured the tiniest squirt of lube in his palm and used it to fist Dan’s cock in a tight grip. Dan moaned, “No, don’t I’ll cum.”

Phil moaned and gently circled the base of Dan’s cock in his hand, squeezing tightly but gently to stave off his orgasm. “Not yet, I want so much more. Want to touch you handsome, want to taste you.” He whispered.

Dan shivered, “You can, but right now I want to feel your cock-“ he paused, eyes sparkling. “Daddy.”

“Do yo-” Phil cut himself off, looking up through his lashes as he leaned up on one palm, “Did you ju-” Dan smirked, “Did I what?” 

“Did you just call me daddy?” Phil slurred a little, half drunk on a newfound lust, half just drunk. He was trying to be gentle but- that was kinky.

Dan leaned up, pressing kisses to his collarbone. “Would you like it? If I called you daddy?” He purred, with surprising sexiness given his inebriated state.

Phil tilting his head to the side, “I- yeah I would, a lot, fuck.” He had no idea his best friend was so kinky- so, slutty. Dan grinned, “Then yes daddy, I did.” He rolled his hips teasingly, “Fuck me?”

Phil moaned pushing Dan’s knees up to his chest roughly, “You’re going to be the death of me. Dan spread his legs willingly, “Please.” 

Phil kissed his neck, pouring a generous amount of the sticky substance over his fingers and circles Dan’s rim with one. "Please…?” He whispered lowly, gentlemanly resolves snapped.

Dan whimpered, “Please Daddy.”

Phil was really getting into it now as he pushed one finger in, straight down to the knuckle. “Such a tight boy.” Dan moaned whorishly, arms spreading out to grip the sheets. “Can take you, I know I can.” Phil looked up at him, “You can’t take daddy’s size without stretching, it’ll hurt.”

Dan bit his lip, “I take my dilido.” He said cheekily, “Although it is a little smaller than you, I like the burn.” He licked his lips as he glanced down at Phil’s cock, which stood heavy against his tummy.

Phil moaned and grabbed his cock, fisting the oily liquid down his length from top to base. “Fine, you wanna felt the stretch from daddy’s cock?” He bracket him against the bed, teasingly thrusting his cock between Dan’s cheeks, the whole length rubbing up and down rim. “Convince me.” Since Dan was drunk and slutty, Phil wanted to make the most of it. Dan seemed to be liking this side of him.

Dan scrambled up onto his elbows, whimpering as he pushed his hips down onto Phil’s cock and oh fuck he was way too big to be doing this but Dan was drunk and it made him looser. “Ah, fuck, daddy.”

Phil moaned and grabbed his hips, pulling Dan down onto his cock a bit more with each thrust. He was way too tight but it felt fucking glorious. “Yeah baby? Do you prefer daddy’s cock to your dildo? Fills your little ass better,” the words were filthy coming from him, but Dan’s clenched around him, clearly he liked it.

Dan’s hands found Phil’s back and dragged down the skin with his nails, he moaned as Phil bottomed out. The stretch was too much in the best way and Dan didn’t care. 

Phil hissed a low moan as the nails clawed at his back, leaving stinging trails in their wake. He loved the feeling. “Christ baby, so tight.” He gave a hard, experimental thrust, Dan’s walls clinging vice like to his cock. Dan tightened his legs around his waist, “Harder, fuck me, please daddy.”

Phil moaned, grabbing his thighs, “Demanding, aren’t you?” He obliged though, fucking into him harder unable to resist the temptation of making the most out of it. Dan threw his head back, “Yes, fuck daddy that’s good.”

Phil moaned and brought one hand up to idly thumb at Dan’s nipples as he fucked him harder. “Tell daddy what you like, such a good boy.” He was getting off on this way more than he should, and he didn’t care one bit.

Dan bit his lip, “Like your cock, want you to fuck me all the time, m’imagine you sometimes when I fuck myself.”

Fuck Dan couldn’t say things like that, it did things to his chest, and to his cock, made it twitch inside him with interest. “You think of me?” Dan opened his eyes, smirking, “Yeah, when I ride my dildo on the bed, or when I finger myself in the shower, sometimes when I’m fooling around with some random bloke I pretend he’s you.”

 

A growl tore from Phil’s throat, “I hate it when you bring back those random blokes.” He punctuated the point with a deep thrust, grinding on his prostate before pulling out and flipping them both over. Dan balanced on him with a gasp, then smirked, “You jealous daddy?”

 

“Yes.” Phil admitted unashamedly in his drunken, horny state, grabbing his hips. “Don’t do it again.” Dan braced himself then started bouncing on him with earnest. “You keeping me all for yourself daddy?”

Phil braced his heels in the bed, giving Dan’s leverage as he rode his cock prettily. “Yes. Better only even find you on daddy’s cock.” He gave a sharp thrust of his hips, “This is daddy’s.”

Dan moaned whorishly, “Okay daddy, promise to just ride your pretty cock.” He looked down with a smirk, but hope graced his featured.

Phil looked up, eyes meeting Dan’s gaze and staying locked there. He wanted to hear that sound again, so he pushed up hard, meeting him thrust for thrust. “You look so pretty riding daddy’s cock don’t you? Such a pretty boy for daddy.” He purred at the blush of Dan’s skin under his words.

Dan bit his lips, little “Uh uh uh” sounds falling from his lips, his cock leaked precome as it lay against his belly. “Need to come soon daddy.”

Phil curled a fist around his cock, stroking briskly and thumbing the swollen head. “Cum on daddy’s chest love, let me watch you come on my cock.”

Normally Dan would be disappointed with cumming so soon, but he was pissed and happily obliged, moaning Phil’s name as he spilled over his chest, body shaking as he slammed himself down on his cock to work himself through it.

Phil moaned and stroked him through it, a broken growl of Dan’s name on his lips as he emptied himself into Dan’s impossible tightness, pounding up into him and dragging him down into a bruising kiss. Dan whined into the kiss, continuing the movement of his hips until he was content, falling limp on his chest.

Phil didn’t have the energy to pull out, eyes barely even open as they kissed long and lazy, both half asleep as he dragged the sheets over them. Dan hummed, feeling him soften inside him. “Sleepy.” He slurred.

“M'sleep, it’s okay.” Phil yawned, tucking his head into Dan’s neck and pressing them both down into the warmth of his pillows.

Sleep found him easily once he did.

Dan hurt. It was the first thing he registered as he finally started to wake up. His head hurt, his arms hurt, his back was aching something fierce. He groaned, trying to reach out for his phone but got a surprise when it smacked into the solid shape of someone’s face.

That slap was what Phil woke with a start, “What th- ah,” he held his nose, forcing his eyes open to see what was going on, and immediately regretting it, “Ow.” His eyes burned, and now he was aware of the punishing way his head throbbed from a hangover. “Ow.” He muttered lamely, pressing back down into the sheets.

Dan snapped his own eyes shut after trying to open them. “Why the fuck are the curtains open. Like why. Also, why are you on my face?” Phil threw his arm over his eyes, “Because I never shut them, and I don’t know. Go shut the curtains before my eyes melt,” He halfheartedly shoved at him.

Dan rolled with the movement, wincing as he landed on his back. “Fuck my ass is burning, did I get laid last night?” Phil snorted, then groaned at the pain in his dry throat. “How the fuck would I know?” He tried to rubbed his eyes then looked down at his own body, finding himself naked. “Huh. Dan- uh- why am I naked?”

Dan scowled, “How the fuck would I know? Maybe you got hot. My throat is killing me too, am I raspy?”

“Yeah, shut the curtains and get back in bed idiot.” He watched as Dan flipped him off but stood anyway and crossed to the curtains. He had purple fingerprints littering his perfectly round ass, and hickeys staining every inch of his skin. “You definitely got fucked last night, that’s a fact.” He confirmed.

Dan glanced back at him, “Could have told you that you know why?” He pulled the curtains shut, then collapsing back on the bed. “Your ass probably aches?” Phil leaned back into the pillows. But judging by the way his cock was (traitorously) interested in the sight of Dan climbing (naked and littered with hickeys) back into his bed, he had a pretty solid picture of why he was naked and Dan ached.

“Yep, and no condom, aaaand didn’t bother cleaning up.” He glanced over lazily. “So. Are you going to say it or shall I?” Phil shrugged one shoulder, “We fucked last night.”

“Yep. Can’t say I’m surprised honestly.” He winced and shifted his hips, “So we cool?”

Phil chuckled at the casual manner, as he leaned over to grab his glasses, his pale back sporting a collection of deep scratch marks. “Uh- yeah we’re cool.” Dan looked over them, “Oh we went rough. You know , I’m kind of disappointed?”

Phil looked back over, “Christ alright, your sensitivity towards a man’s performance could use a little work.” He laughed a little. Dan sniggered, “No, I mean I’m disappointed that I can remember shit. Like what do you reckon it was like?”

Phil laughed, “I reckon it was pretty damn good, but I’d be happy to offer a quick refresher of my services.” He found himself saying, it seemed easier than facing the feelings in his chest. Dan laughed, “Are you saying you wanna bang? Like right now?” He felt a tug in his groin, “Because I hope you are.”

Phil chuckled, “I’m saying I don’t understand why you’ve still not brought that ass over here.”

Dan moved immediately into his lap and pressed their bruised lips together. They kissed for a while, then Dan pulled back, “Mate you really need to brush your teeth.” Phil snorted and shoved his chest, “If I go brush my teeth will you bang me without whining about my breathe?” He liked his, being so intimate but having it laced with humour and scathing remark, it felt like oddly right.

“Yes, now go do it.” Dan picked himself up and also headed to the bathroom.

Phil grabbed his toothbrush in the bathroom and started brushing his teeth for several minutes, tousling his hair in the mirror as he did. He ached all over and he looked thoroughly fucked, but he liked it.

Dan glanced over at him in the mirror, making obscene movements with his toothbrush and snorting. Phil snorted to around his toothbrush, which was bad idea that left choking on a mouthful of toothpaste foam and rushing to spit it out. What a dick.

He wiped a hand across the back of his mouth, “By the way, I’m not eating your ass unless you clean off what I did to it.” Two could play at that game.

Dan spat, “Is that a promise? Because if it is I’ll hop on the shower right fucking now.”

“It’s definitely a promise if you use that unnecessarily expensive vanilla soap you bought.” He rolled his neck, glancing at him in the mirror. Dan turned on the shower, “I’ll be five minutes. Unless you want to join me?”

Phil snorted, “Do you trust me to hold you up, hungover without slipping and smashing one of our heads on the tile?” Dan pulled a face, “You know what? Go wait in the bedroom.”

Phil turned and headed back to the bedroom, settling back against the sheets as running a hand through his hair, oddly comfortable in his nudity. Inwardly he was freaking out a little, this was his best friend, they weren’t supposed to fuck. But weirdly enough, it felt so right to be like this, making snarking jokes and yet still it was so hot. It was somehow new and not at once.

Dan was quick in the shower, trying not to think too much about this situation. It was fine, they seemed fine. He dried off, heading into the room with a towel around his waist. “Be gentle with me my ass is aching.” He crawled onto the bed and plonked himself in Phil’s lap unceremoniously.

“Wow, very graceful.” Phil jokes, looking pleased with himself as he sniggered. “I wonder why that is.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “I mean I’ve only seen you soft so far, apart when I was piss drunk, so let’s see why my ass is throbbing then.” He took Phil’s mostly soft cock in his hand and worked over it.

Phil shrugged casually, “I’m pretty sure I did warn you.” He let Dan’s soft hands start to bringing his cock to hardness, gently taking the towel away from his body to inspect the various bruises, proud of his drunken work.

Dan hummed, “Wouldn’t have mattered, I’ve been told I’m a proper slut when I’m pissed. You know I have a vague memory of sucking you off in a bathroom? It came back to me in the shower.”

“You were a proper slut, but I liked it.” Phil confirmed, thumb finding the head of Dan’s cock and massaging it boredly, as his own cock began to stiffen and thicken out. “Little memories also tell me you also have a pretty hot daddy kink. And you did, Jack bet you £100 you wouldn’t suck me off, and you’ve never been one to back down from a bet.”

Dan snorted, “Wait you remember us fucking? Because I would not have brought out the daddy kink unless you had your cock in me.” He marvelled at Phil’s growing cock. Damn.

“I remember bits of it, most of it is still a blank but I vividly remember you playing the daddy card.” He gave a happy little sigh as his cock grew to full size under Dan’s exploring fingers. “And I remember me telling you not bring home any more random blokes, I think I got pretty jealous, which was probably your intention.”

Dan licked his lips, “Okay just saying you have a great cock. Also that sounds like me.” Phil chuckled, “You approve then? Not ‘disappointed’ still?” he mocked. Dan rolled his eyes, “Yes, yes, congrats you have a fantastic cock.” He shuffled down until he was face to face with it. “Was the blowjob any good? Bet it was.” 

Phil hummed, “I mean it was oka-” He was joking but stopped at Dan’s glare, deciding it wasn’t a joke worth risking a blowjob for. “I’m joking asshole, it was fantastic. In fact you got plans this weekend?” He asked casually.

Dan kitten licked his tip, “And when I’m sober I’m even better. You know I don’t mate.”

“Prove it.” Phil hummed, “Great, wanna get married? Someone once told me if I find a bloke who gives good head I should elope immediately. They were pretty adamant.” He sniggered. Dan paused only for a moment, “Why not? You don’t want me seeing anyone else again apparently”. He ran his tongue up the underside of his cock.

Phil hummed, “I’m serious. And I don’t, I mean now that we’re basically dating it would be cheating, but it doesn’t hurt to have it in writing,” his fingers found Dan’s hair, “I mean it, no more blokes.”

Dan paused, raising his head, eyes more serious. “Okay.”

Phil met his eyes, a serious glint in them for the first time time that he was eager to get over with and get back to their banter. “Okay?”

“Okay, if you this seems to work, and you propose right I’ll marry you. We’re basically already married.” He sat up, blow job forgotten.

Phil smiled lopsided, “You’ve got a deal.” He pulled him in and kissed him.

Dan kissed back, feeling warm inside and out.

“Great, now lets have sex because I’m really hard right now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Drop us a comment if you can!  
> Check us out on Tumblr @do_it_with_the_howell_lesters


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